By Hal Stevens
If you're thinking about going with the conventional style of writing a speech for the eulogy you're going to deliver, I'd like to present some tips that will help you.
Take some time alone to sit down in a quiet place and reflect. Sit at your computer and type what you are thinking, or bring a pen and some paper to write down your thoughts.
At first your thoughts may be random and may not follow any particular order or structure. That's perfectly all right. Not many people—especially in the grip of an emotional situation—have thoughts that flow perfectly.
Once you've recorded your thoughts, read through them. If you've written them on a pad or piece of paper go back and number them in order of importance. If you're using a computer, cut and paste words and sentences after formatting for numbering. Don't be afraid to add or delete.
What you're thinking really depends on you. What you want to say will vary according to your situation. However, you want to make sure that you're being true to your own feelings, true to the memory of the deceased and conscious of the feelings of those who will be listening to what you're saying.
1. Pick a tone. This is the point in which you decide if you want to be serious, sentimental, or light-heated. A good eulogy doesn't have to be solemn and serious if that isn't the mood of your family. Pick the tone that best fits the situation. If your family is more formal or traditional, write and organize your thoughts in such a way. If you're a family of free-spirits or the deceased was a jolly person who loved a laugh, your tribute can be written in a more light-hearted tone. If the deceased was someone of deep sentiment and emotion, a more sentimental eulogy is appropriate. Injecting some humor even into the most serious of eulogies is often a good idea. The use of appropriate and relevant humor in the form of a witty anecdote about the deceased or a funny memory can help relax the audience and, actually, help you relax.
2. Make sure your words are respectful. A good rule to keep in mind is that you shouldn't say anything in a eulogy that you wouldn't have said to the deceased's face when they were alive.
3. Don't be afraid to get personal. Talk about moments that you shared with the deceased—moments that define him or her and the relationships that they shared.
4. Write short sentences. Long sentences track well on paper, but can be confusing when said in front of an audience.
5. Write from your heart. The most eternal memory that people will seize from your eulogy is what you enlighten them with that's most sincere. You can do this without being excessively emotional. Just take into account the best qualities of your loved one and remind the listeners that those qualities will continue.
Hal Stevens owns the CemeterySpot family of websites that provide products, services and resource directories related to end of life topics. Services include the CemeterySpot FREE Online Memorial Listing Service and the CemeterySpot FREE Cemetery Property Listing Service. Hal is also the author of several critically acclaimed eBooks specifically written to help people deal with end of life issues. His eBooks include topics such as: cremation, writing and delivering a eulogy, eco-friendly green funerals, funeral planning, organ donation, and buying and selling cemetery plots. To find out more about these free services and resources, to learn more about his books, and to get a free gift, visit http://www.cemeteryspot.com.
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