by: Greg Beverly

Imagine the perfect marriage...then imagine it's yours!

"Give and it will be given to you."

Give what you want more of in your life. In order to have more, you must give more. To some this may sound absurd but if you believe in the Law of the Harvest this makes real sense.

You get what you give. There is something inside us that causes us to want to give back whenever someone else gives to us. If someone shouts at you, most likely you want to shout back. Or if someone does you a favor, you make it a point to return the favor.

Try smiling at strangers and that stranger will smile back at you, no doubt about that. Isn't it amazing how much easier life can become when you start to give whatever it is that you want in return?

"How you give love is how you live love."…Jaci Velasquez

Cooperation

Cooperation is a joint operation or action. Since it is stated as joint, it means two or more people are involved. When two people come together in a certain relationship, expect the differences in opinion.

Our differences can actually be the key to a strong long-term marriage we are aiming for. After some time the man may want more independent activities, like going out with his friends. The woman on the other hand may want more contact with girlfriends.

"The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."…Thomas Carlyle

What's the impact of this on marriage you may ask? Well, one of the main reasons we pick at each other is our conflicting attitude towards marital independence. Nature keeps moving forward in the life cycle. Change is the only permanent thing in this world. As you count the years, you'll eventually discover each other's strengths and weaknesses. It is a step-by-step process and can't be done overnight.

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."…Katharine Hepburn

These differences can even lead us in a better direction. It may even cause us to make better decisions along the way. Don't think of your differences as an obstacle to be happy. It can have a positive synergistic effect on your lives.

You and your spouse are a team. You are partners. This partnership has two sides. Either you let this help you live a more fulfilled life, or treat your spouse like he or she is your competitor.

Is it cooperation or competition that will bring you the most success in your marriage? The answer is quite obvious. But are you practicing cooperation in your marriage from the very start?

You should work together to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome. Marriage is a partnership and not just two people living in the same roof.

Tips on how to know that cooperation is present in your household

1. Discuss all major purchases. Agree upon what to buy with your money.

2. Agree on what you will and won't buy and where you will invest the money.

3. Focus on each other's strengths not on each other's weaknesses.

4. Point out the things you need to improve in your life. Ask his or her opinion.

5. Don't try to change your spouse's mind to your way of thinking. Assess yourself if you are willing to change your mind. Giving in once in a while is healthy.

6. Agree on how you will raise your children. Include discipline, allowance, curfew, education, religion, dress, friends and chores.

7. Write plans for the future. Discuss it together.

8. Always look for ways to improve yourself and your marriage

9. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Reserve judgment until you get all of the facts.

10. Try to understand your partner's motive if you feel offended or hurt. Don't get mad in an instant.

Treat your relationship like a cooperative partnership. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, we can all benefit making an effort to improve our relationship. Start your journey today!