Home  Relationships
| Tips For a Happy Relationship | October 20, 2009, 6:15 pm | visits: 15 | wordcount: 665
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By CD Mohatta
A relationship is very tricky. Tensions build up over time and one day both the partners cannot bear the stress of the relationship and give it up. After that they keep thinking about why that happened. Why not secure the relationship right from the beginning. Every relationship will have pluses and minuses. Our objective should be to build the pluses. The minuses will then become insignificant. What are the factors that may positively influence a relationship? Let us write them down.
Maintain awareness of feelings of each other. If you are trying to be perfect, do not do that. That causes stresses. Accept that both of you are imperfect. Talking about breakup up in heat of the moment is wrong. One should rather avoid talking about breaking up altogether. Avoid discussing about any break up your friends have. Do not focus on any negative. Focus on positives. Be compassionate towards each other. Take care of the mood swings and do not create tension over small things. Try to ease the atmosphere. Show care towards other person. Lying about anything should be absolute no. Do not even try to hide things. Be totally open about everything. Never develop any trust deficit. If something was better for you in the past and is not so in the present, avoid saying so.
Always end the day on a happy note. Do not let any misunderstanding open at the end of the day. Clear up all the mess and apologize if needed. Know all about your partner's likes and dislikes. If there is a conflict between what you like and what your partner likes, discuss that openly. Surrender if required. Ego in small matters never helped any one. You will feel better if you give happiness to your partner. Go by your good instinct. Avoid thinking and dwelling upon negatives. Think of the world as a good place and your relationship as a great one.
Removing pain from your relationship
Unless you are a real loner, you need relationships. Even if you are a loner you cannot live all alone. You need to interact with others for your basic needs of food, shelter etc. The issue is that most of us crave for a deeper relationship. A deeper relationship is one that satisfies our emotional needs. That gives us the confidence that we are not all alone. Why most of us have pets- for the simple reason that we get somebody we care for and who cares for us in return, somebody we can call our own. Beyond that we all need to bond with a human and that may bring more pain than pleasure. Let us see how.
Emotional needs cause a big conflict. Your emotional needs may be different to those of your partner. That will drive both of you in different directions to satisfy respective needs. You may be looking for more of emotional security in terms of acceptance where as your partner may be more worried about not being rejected by you. There can be many such conflicts. They arise because we are born with different mental makeup, we grow up with different mental make up but when we meet each other we want to make a common bond. Sometimes people feel that their partner is like them. But that may be true in only some aspects. As the relationship progresses, other differences come in picture.
All of us carry references from our past. What we experienced repeatedly or what we felt strongly became our reference. In our childhood one of the references we stored was not to misbehave, otherwise we could be punished. We store our references for future use in our mind. If you fell in love and were hurt badly, that may become your reference. You may feel afraid falling in love again. We have different references from each other and that creates a difference in how we perceive a situation. Any partnership suffers because of this. Please discuss your references with your partner to avoid these conflicts.
The author writes text messages and advises for internet and social networking content like myspace countdowns and myspace comments. He also writes quizzes on subjects like personality, etc.
Source:www.isnare.com | |
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