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| When You Lose Your Job-- How to Be Successful at Unemployment! | May 31, 2009, 4:43 pm | visits: 59 | wordcount: 701
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By Rik Isensee
Losing your job is one of the most stressful events that can happen in your lifetime. It can wreak havoc with your finances, your relationships, and your self-esteem. With little control over much of the situation, it's easy to feel helpless and hopeless, but in reality your perception of your circumstances can make a huge difference.
Losing a job may change many aspects of your life, but it can also be an opportunity for growth. Like most life challenges, how you react to this situation will determine whether you ultimately wind up better or worse for the experience.
Grief
Dealing with job loss is similar to dealing with the death of a loved one. It's natural to have feelings of shock, sadness and mourning. Some people think they should keep a stiff upper lip, but suppressing emotions can lead to depression. It's important to allow your feelings to flow and not try to stop them.
Feel whatever you feel, but don't jump to negative conclusions about what losing your job means. Take each day as it comes, feel into the nature of the changes you're facing and be willing to discover the next step that makes sense to you, rather than jumping to the conclusion that all is lost. It's also helpful to reach out for support from others.
Regret
Is it your fault you lost your job? Was there something you could have done to prevent it? It's natural to ask these questions but you can't turn back the clock.
Instead of banging yourself over the head with recrimination, forgive yourself and focus on what's possible rather than dwelling on the past.
It's also helpful in tough economic times to realize many jobs are lost to downsizing, so don't blame yourself for external circumstances you can't control.
You will work again; so in the meantime, think about where you'd like to go and what you'd like to do. Considering future possibilities can help you decide not only what you want to accomplish, but how you'd like to be in the world.
You Are Not Your Job
If you define yourself solely in terms of your outward accomplishments, you can become very disoriented when you lose your job. Some people jump to negative conclusions: I'm not a good breadwinner or parent; so there's no use for me anymore.
Losing your job is just that: losing your job. But you're much more than your job. As important as it might have been to you, your job was not the sum total of who you are.
You have many other qualities and skills in your life besides the work you do. Now is the perfect time to take a look at areas of your life you may have neglected: relationships, community involvement, creative expression, even something as simple as cooking or gardening. By engaging in other interests, you may find comfort and a sense of accomplishment that you never expected.
Nothing is Permanent
A healthy way to live – in good times as well as challenging ones – is in the moment. Everything is impermanent; nothing remains the same. Although this basic truth can feel somewhat daunting, it can also be very liberating: when you recognize and acknowledge that everything is constantly changing you can stop wishing for what was and pay attention to what is and what could be.
It's not uncommon for people who have lost a job to later say it opened up other possibilities they might never have explored, otherwise. It woke them up and made them focus on how they really wanted to spend their life.
You Will Be All Right
You'll have ups and downs throughout your unemployment and at times you may feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. You may be in for a rough ride, but with the right attitude, you will get through the experience and arrive in a better place. You may look back on this time as a road you needed to travel to get where you needed to go.
It's not only how we deal with external circumstances that enhances our well-being in the world, but the realization that no matter what happens to us, we are fundamentally all right. And we can trust in our own responsiveness to deal effectively with whatever challenges life brings our way.
For some documented keys to a happier life go to http://www.your-pathway-to-happiness.com and get your free report “14 Proven Ways to Raise Your Set-Point of Happiness.” Rik Isensee, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, coach and author of Shift Your Mood: Unleash Your Life! Your Pathway to Inner Happiness
Source:www.isnare.com | |
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