by: Fatimah Musa

You lost your job. Your partner left you. Your car was re-possessed. You find your life barren like the desert.

Your self-esteem plunged. You don't think you are good enough for anything.

You will never find another job because you lack the education and the skills required. You are too old to try again. And who would want you now? The most "handsome, tall dark and charming man" has deserted you and you will never find another as charming as him.

These are common thoughts when you are met with adversity. At this point of your life you usually will not be able to see beyond what you are facing.

How can you think right when you are hungry? All you need is food to eat and a place to stay and call it a night. Your goal for the moment is to feed your stomach.

What can you do?

You can do something. All is not lost.

You can decide to tell yourself that "this too shall pass". You can decide that you will start all over again.

You can take any job for the moment to give you a paycheck. And from there work yourself up again.

Read inspirational and motivational books instead of wallowing in self-pity. Better than using the time watching soap operas or reality shows. The books are available from the library and you can read them for free. If you think that there is no way to turn your life around-read "Man's search for meaning" by Victor Frankl. It may help you look at your life at a different perspective. Or you can read the book by W Mitchell. You'll be inspired.

Listen to motivational recording. If that is the only one you have...just keep listening to it.

Start writing your goals. Make a list of what you can do today and the next day and the next.

Set out your intentions. It's one step at a time and you have to keep on trying many times and different ways until you get what you want.

Have a talk with yourself. Write your feelings and thoughts in a journal. Sit down alone and contemplate.

Go for a walk. Practice deep breathing.

You and only you decide what you want to think. No one knows what's going on inside your head. You can rewind and replay your failures or you can record and replay new positive ones.

People can say things about you. You decide what you want to listen to. You decide what you want to keep. You decide what you want to say to yourself.

Sometimes you think that there is no way out. How do you know you have tried everything? Did you write them down? How many ways were there...1, 2 or 20?

If you still have your complete physical self and a sound mind, there is no reason why you cannot start all over. Unless...you do not want to.

Or maybe what you are really crying out for is the familiarity. It's too scary out there. You have been comfortable all this while. Now you have no choice but to change or rot. And you do not want to rot. At the same time you are so fearful. You have to decide. And the decision is yours.

This is the opportunity for you to challenge yourself. You have to help yourself to grow. You have to develop the attitude that if you work hard you can have a better life. No one is going to help you unless you help yourself first.